This one is for the boys.
Though I imagine it’s more the ladies reading it. And ladies, if you didn’t start singing the Spice Girls song as you read this then I don’t know if we can be friends any longer.
I had intended to do a top ten post on the best Mother’s Day gifts that don’t cost a cent but there was that whole kid in the hospital thing and I never got around to it. Then I read this post which contained many of my draft items. Darn it. But since I think the word needs to be out on what moms are really longing for, I am pushing forward.
What to Get Your Wife (or Ex-Wife, or Sister, or Daughter, etc) for Mother’s Day
1. An Empty House: A few years ago my husband took our girls to his parents over New Year’s Weekend. It was freaking amazing. I slept like 13 hours a night, read about ten books, drank wine and ate crackers in bed, took two baths per day. Seriously heaven. The only flaw was that I totally didn’t clean the house like I told my husband I would. Ooops. This Mother’s Day instead of buying flowers take the kids out of the house for as long as possible. It’s like a mini-vacation for any parent.
2. A Day Free of Poop: The sad truth is that poop does not stop with diapers. I am still wiping my kids’ asses at the ripe age of six. Even if they make it through the day, I still have to do a skid check before bath. And then there’s the underwear. And the toilet. You can see where I am going with this.
3. No Obligations: It’s sweet and all to plan lots of fun, but sometimes a person just wants to sit around. Offer suggestions but leave the decisions to mom.
4. Handmade cards: Every mother secretly wants a card from her kids full of misspelled sentiments and even some stray macaroni pieces. Bonus for cards from their partners extolling their greatness.
5. Sleep: Sleep in, nap, early bedtime. In a clean sheeted, empty of kids bed. Enough said.