Soft Center, Strong Edges

Every night at dinner we ask the girls to tell us about their day. Usually we don’t get much out out of them but still we try. The key is asking very pointed questions…

Did you like your lunch?
What did you make in art class?
Who did you play with at recess?

Today that last question prompted a candid and open, in the way only a five year old can be, telling of how Calamity Jane had told Desmonda Drama she didn’t want to play with her. And how she had told Desmonda to go away. This was all from Calamity Jane be the way. Desmonda looked sad and said it hurt her feelings.

I wanted to punch Calamity Jane and hug Desmonda Drama. I wanted to circle Calamity Jane in my arms and coach her on a better way to say things. I wanted to shake Desmonda Drama and tell her to stand up for herself. It’s a constant battle of the twin mom. You want to be soft and strong all at the same time. And you want that to happen simultaneously for both kids.

Though I did spend a few minutes varying between soft (“oh honey, that’s not nice!”) and strong (“Your sister is your best friend and you always need to be there for her. It’s okay not to want to play with her but it’s not okay to tell her to get away from you and your friends”, in the end I managed to pull it together and strike a balance between the two. With a lot of help from my husband, I should add.

What do you do, veteran parents, when you want to be soft and strong all at once? Or do you pick one and go with it?
If you’re a picker, add what you go with here on Charmin’s Soft or Strong poll.

About the Charmin 2012 Election:
Charmin launches a campaign of its own this election year by asking fans across the country to
vote for their favorite Charmin. In honor of National Toilet Paper Day, the Charmin 2012 Election
kicked off in Flushing, Queens and will live on Facebook until October 20th. Every vote counts!
Visit to learn more about the Ultra Soft and Ultra Strong.

About Charmin:
Charmin’s variety of product choices has something for everyone. Each consumer can find
a product that fits his or her specific needs. Charmin® Ultra Soft is designed with absorbent
cushions that allow you to use less versus the leading value brand. Charmin® Ultra Strong’s
enhanced DiamondWeave™ texture delivers a clean you will notice, with the softness you
expect from Charmin.

More info:

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“I was compensated for this blog post as part of the SocialMoms and Charmin blogging
program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own. For more blog posts on this
topic, click here.”


  1. I can only do one at a time. If I tried to do both my kids would never take me seriously!

  2. It sounds like you handled it wonderfully. Parenting is always challenging but having twins seems like it ups the ante a bit.

  3. I agree! You handled it perfect;y! As a parent it’s outr job to see both sides.

  4. It can be hard to balance – but think about how you would have responded if it hadn’t involved both your girls.

  5. Parenting is the hardest job ever. I think you handled it well!

  6. Kelley Johnsen says:

    Wow, that woul dbe a hard thing to balance but just keep trying mom!

  7. Great post! It sure can be hard dealing with kids sometimes!

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